Recovery

Seeing sad eyes in my head,
When will they disappear?
And if They don't, then could I live
Being your nightmare.
I feel the pain of hurting you,
The shrinking in your chest.
The untamed fire burning hot,
That You have put to rest.
The happiness awaiting,
Turned suddenly to grief.
But somewhere deep inside me,
I also feel relief.
I hoped and prayed you'd understand.
But religion some times don't make sense
Especially if it hurts again,
After the sinners prayer.
But I can't say a word of this,
To any Christian soul.
Or speak of any misery,
That Jesus can't control.
Cuz if you do your not a saint,
And sinners pay the toll.
So they'll tell you to repent right now
And play your Christian role.
People sometimes make mistakes,
And blurry lines are crossed.
But I will find my joy again.
No matter what the cost.